Freezing in Texas.

It is freezing in Texas. I missed my yoga class this morning because I don’t want to go anywhere in this weather.

I’m broke.

I’m so broke and so lonely. 2009 has not been good to me. I hope 2010 brings better fortune and happiness.

Misunderstood

It seems no matter how hard I try, my words are misconstrued. It’s frustrating. I’ve given up. Although biting my lip has never been something I do I’ll just try not to say much.

It’s okay.

Dear God,

If I don’t wake up tomorrow it’s okay. It’s okay.

It’s okay if I don’t wake up tomorrow.

Mediocre minds

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds… - Albert Einstein

Let’s All Agree: Factory Farming is the Real Evil, Not Vegans

So why give vegans and vegetarians grief about not eating meat? If anything, shouldn’t meat eaters be happy there’s more meat for them to eat? So are vegans doing omnivores a favor then? Hahaha. But all joking aside. Solidarity is the word here my friend. We should work together to make mother earth happy instead of turning on each other, don’t you think?

Someone at work showed me a link that showed shirts that said these:

“Save a Cow, Eat a Vegetarian”

or

“Save a Tree, Eat a Vegetarian”

or how about this

“Nobody likes a vegetarian”

It was all for fun. We all ended up looking at shirts with funny catch lines. But this is not my first rodeo, this is not the first time I’ve been given grief for being a vegetarian. I’ve been in many uncomfortable conversations before about not eating meat.

I gave up meat two years ago for many reasons but mainly because of animal cruelty and it’s affect on our eco system. I am not, by any means, bullying anyone into giving up meat. People should be allowed to make their own choices. I am not claiming vegetarianism as a solution to world hunger and a safeguard of the planet but I do what I can.  Just because a fire is growing wildly does not mean I shouldn’t attempt to put it out.

Our food choices have major global impacts and giving up meat is a personal choice that benefits everyone. With that said I don’t judge if you eat meat. I used to eat meat so who am I to judge? And who knows? Years from now I might eat meat again.

I don’t assume that you don’t do anything that benefit others or that you don’t like animals. Absolutely not! My younger sister is a much, much, bigger animal lover than I can ever be and she eats meat.  My professor in college, the most eco-minded person I know, also eats meat. So you see, I am not bullying anyone into giving up meat. However, there are those vegetarians who give vegetarians a bad name and you know exactly the kind of people I’m talking about–those who appear superior, smug, and self satisfied and think they are better than you because of what they eat.  The recent converts are probably the worst. I know I was unpleasant to eat with 2 years ago. My sister told me to stop telling her my reasons after the second week I gave up meat. At one point, she couldn’t eat in front of me without feeling a hint of guilt even when I didn’t say a word. I guess just my presence made her uncomfortable.  I don’t know why because I don’t mind people eating meat in front of me.

I don’t know many vegetarians so I haven’t had any opportunity to observe any “superior” behaviors. (Not too many vegetarians in Texas.) In fact, I’m in the opposite end of the spectrum here.  I beg my sister not to tell people I’m vegetarian. I don’t want anybody going out of their way to feed me. I am capable of finding and making my own food. I don’t want people asking me questions which immediately follows after the word “vegetarian” is thrown out in the air. I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable around me thinking I’ll pass out at the sight of meat. So you see, I avoid my being vegetarian being brought up. I am embarrassed when my sister tell servers I’m vegetarian. Not exactly how someone who appears “superior” would act. I know vegetarians sometimes over do it with their arguments (something I don’t do anymore.)

People ask me aaaalllll the time why I don’t eat meat. I answer.  I don’t preach (or at least I don’t mean to.) But one thing for sure, I have gotten a lot better. I wouldn’t want to talk to me 2 years ago. I think I may have sounded offensively preachy. Nowadays, my conversations are never too serious nor preachy and mainly consists of simple answers. I’ve noticed that the more calm and reserved I am about my answers, the more comfortable and smooth the conversation is. Then it gradually transforms into a light conversation ending in recipe swaps.

The answer to “Why don’t you eat meat?” no matter how simple, will make you think–even if just for a little while, it will almost always offend those who eat meat.  So am I being rude for answering? Is it best not to say anything at all?  It’s rude not to answer, but more rude if I do.   When did it become more polite to be rude? Sometimes I consider not answering the question to avoid the risk of raising something that could possibly be uncomfortable for anyone to talk about.

 

I just wanted to share this article below.  It said what I couldn’t say when a friend at work jokingly showed me a shirt that said “nobody likes a vegetarian.” If I had this article, my comeback would have been a lot better than “You should thank me because I don’t eat meat, that means more meat for you!”

 

My head hurts.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

So I’ve decided to give Graduate School another try. I’m going to apply for the second time, to a different school, and a different program. I applied for the Master’s of Public Administration program here in Texas. I did not get accepted because of my GRE scores. I took the exam without studying. Needless to say, I did not score high. I did not know my sister took months to study for this exam and I, on the other hand, just showed up at the testing site.

It might be a blessing in disguise that I didn’t get in the program.

I’m going to apply for the Master’s of Education (I’m not going to say what school until after I get in). But before I can even apply I need to decide if I want to go through this again. Write all these essays, request letters of recommendations just to find out I didn’t get in. I was a little discouraged from the first time. I’m a little apprehensive about doing it again.

I also I need to decide if I want to teach K-5 (elementary) or 6-12 (secondary) before I apply.

I also need to decide if I want to teach in Texas or in Hawai’i because different states require different certifications and such.

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh…

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I know I’ve already said this many times before but could someone please make the decision for me. Please.

Congratulations Efren Penaflorida

If you’ve been following CNN’s Heroes of the Year then you know who this year’s Hero is.

Congratulations Efren Penafloria and also to the 9 other nominees. I hope they continue to do what they do.

They are all winners.

 

 

“Serve and serve well!”

Mabuhay!

 

Out Of My Hands

Change. That’s what’s out of my hands.

Change is hard. We’ve been conditioned to think that change is good but what if it’s really not.

 

What happens when you can’t control anything that is happening in your life anymore?

 

Do you cry hysterically?

Find things to keep you busy so you won’t notice how everything suddenly has a life of its own?

 

What happens when everything is rapidly changing and all that’s left is … regrets? Wishing you had more time. Could have paused time.

 

I used to have control over things. At least I think I used to. It’s mortifyingly sad that I no longer feel that.

I think it’s alright to cry.

T-Mobile Sidekick Update

T-Mobile just posted a crucial update regarding the data disruption and I knew it. I fuckin knew it! I knew they wouldn’t be able to restore information. I fuckin knew it!

Regrettably, based on Microsoft/Danger’s latest recovery assessment of their systems, we must now inform you that personal information stored on your device – such as contacts, calendar entries, to-do lists or photos – that is no longer on your Sidekick almost certainly has been lost as a result of a server failure at Microsoft/Danger. That said, our teams continue to work around-the-clock in hopes of discovering some way to recover this information. However, the likelihood of a successful outcome is extremely low.

I think they’ve know this for a while and just didn’t know how to give the information to us. Typical! Of course they need a back up plan before telling us what they already knew. Offer an alternative before giving the bad news. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d figure this out days ago but had to brainstorm and see how they can do damage control first.